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Fanta Ballo performs "My Mother" | Black Queer Voices in Spoken Word
June 19, 2024
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<p class="text-size-medium">In recognition and celebration of both Pride Month and Juneteenth, FAI spotlights the work of three black, queer poets and spoken-word artists:Fanta Ballo (she/her), Melissa Ferrer Civil (she/they), and Win Frederick (she/they).</p>
<p class="text-size-medium">Today, we start with Fanta Ballo!</p>
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<h2 class="heading-style-h4">What is Spoken Word?</h2>
Poetry and spoken word traditions are as ancient as storytelling itself, but modern spoken word comes from the 50’s Beat Generation poets and the 60’s Black Arts Movement (see these great articles from Smithsonian Folkways and FolkWorks for more history), with vocal cadences and rhythmic conventions rooted in African musical tradition. And like the banjo, rock n roll, jazz, rap, and so many of our global musical traditions and cultural staples, we must continue to acknowledge and honor historically erased African roots.
So, what sets the art of spoken word apart from poetry? Spoken word is spoken, of course! The rhythm and energy of each performance transforms the feeling of the writing, the same way phrasing, dynamics, and melody change the feeling of a song.
We’ve asked each writer to perform a work of their choice. Check out each performance, read about their process and experience below, and support and connect!
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My Mother
When my mother asks me
why do you dress like a boy?
I don’t give her an answer
And it’s not because I don’t know
But it’s because my mothers words
have a history of giving me wounds
That don’t ever heal correctly
And how could it
When she constantly picks
and picks
And picks at everything I do
And everything I wear
And I swear
Sometimes I wanna see what she dressed like growing up
Cause I just know I had to get this from somewhere
Cause who am I if I’m not my mothers daughter
If I am not the girl who traded in her Barbie’s for a basketball
And her barrettes for a beanie
Needlessly to say
This little tomboy thing wasn’t a phase
So when my mother asks me
why do you dress like a boy?
I want to tell her
That I dress like me
And that her hate for my clothes
Is what sparked my hyper-independency
Realized I could only depend on me
when it came to the things I need
Like the clothes used to feed this body
When my mama asked me why do I dress like a boy
she really wants to know do I still like them
Which is why she reminds me that boys like girls in skirts
And men like women in makeup
And ain’t no guy gone want no girl
that’s walking round here with a shapeup
And I know ma
And you know too
That your daughter don’t belong with no dude
But your beliefs got you blinded
Your traditions got a hold on you and it’s the thing holding up this separation from you and me
Mama sometimes I wonder if you still love me
And not for the things I can do
But for the things I can’t
Like changing my appearance
Or the people I love
Cause mama
you don’t know how many times I tried to pray the gay away
Just hoping that you’ll finally say
Fanta it’s okay
I’ll love you anyways
MAMA JUST LOVE ME ANYWAYS
Cause you held my heart in your belly
Long before I inhabited this earth
You are the one person
Who knows my heartbeat better than I do
Mama when you ask me why I dress like this
Do you really want to know what the answer is?
Cause living in denial is what creates this safe space
So what will you do when that’s no longer the case
When neither one of us can run any longer
And we are left here face to face with nothing but the truth
Realizing that the problem was never the clothes
or the shoes
Or even my preferred hair dos
<p class="text-align-right margin-0">Mama when you finally accept that your daughter is gay</p>
<p class="text-align-right margin-0">What will that mean</p>
<p class="text-align-right margin-0">For you?</p>
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About Fanta Ballo
Fanta Ballo is an award-winning poet, teaching artist and published author from Harlem, New York. At the early age of 19, she completed her Bachelor’s in Economics from University of Albany after receiving her associates degree from Bard College at Simon’s Rock where she was the commencement speaker. Her passion for poetry led her to perform at events ranging from protests and rallies to school/college auditoriums, and at venues like NYC’S PlayStation Theatre, Barclays Center, DC’s Kennedy Center and the Legendary SOBs. She has since collaborated with notable artists like Idina Menzel, and Shihan Van Clief, and champions other young artists with her work.
She performed at the Global Citizens Festival opening for Shawn Mendez, at a Juneteenth event hosted by the NYC Mayor and his wife, at a youth mental health conference for UNICEF, at the Earthshot Prize Summit for Bloomberg Philanthropies and other high profile events. Fanta was awarded the first ever Wonder Grant from the Shawn Foundation and she’s using that grant to fund her debut poetry collection “For All The Things I Never Got To Say” which is available now at FantaBallo.com.
Support and Connect
Website • Instagram • YouTube • TikTok • Twitter/X
Q&A
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">Can you describe your writing process for us?</p>
When it comes to my writing process, I am someone who writes in chunks. Meaning, I rarely ever sit down and write a full piece of work but I will develop different ideas that I can come back to and develop further. It honestly takes more time for me to figure out what my opening line is going to be and once I figure that out, I can fully flesh out a poem in 2-3 sittings.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">Who or where do you draw influence and inspiration from?</p>
I draw my inspiration from spoken word artists like Jasmine Mans, ShiHan Van Clief, Shanelle Gabriel, Roya Marsh, Rudy Francisco; who have done the work in this field and basically laid the foundation for younger artists like me to make a way in the game. I am someone who has to see someone do something to believe I can do it, all I have to do is see that it’s possible and that’s all the ammunition I need to go and get it! That’s why I respect and value the “OGs” in the game because there’s so much I can learn from them. I also draw my influence from Lena Waithe, Roya March (again!) and Bettina Love, all of whom are masc-presenting women who are dominating in their respective field.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">Do you have any new projects or work you’d like to share with us?</p>
I am currently working on book #2. The goal is to have this book traditionally published. The book is currently in the early stages but I know it’s going to come exactly when it needs to. I am also a huge theater fan and I want to produce my own one-woman show that will either be a spin-off from my new book or its own separate entity.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">Who should we be listening to or paying attention to right now?</p>
We should be paying attention to all the young people right now. We should be listening to them and their realities. I know sometimes it’s hard to accept that things have changed post-COVID but our “new normal” and their only normal looks completely different. I am a champion of the youth, as I work with the kids in my community and beyond to help them discover self-love through spoken word and there are many others out here that are also doing the work to pour into our youth.
However, as much as we pour in, we must also be able to sit back and let them grow and value their opinions and most importantly LISTEN.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">“My Mother” directly speaks to the struggles of navigating others’ perception of your own queerness. In this case, family – specifically your mother. You are so candid about your experience in this piece. Is there part of this experience we’re not seeing?</p>
I would say this piece is missing my mother's side of the experience. All I’ve known throughout this whole battle was the way my mother's actions directly affected the way I viewed the world and myself. However, it wasn’t until I started going to therapy that I realized that my mom has a truth as well, she has feelings and trauma that she needs to navigate through. I haven’t been able to bring myself to actually write this side of the story yet as it is a lot to digest, but like they say there’s always two sides to every story and as I get older I have learned to give more grace to others and forgive (or at least trying) without receiving an apology.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">What was the most difficult part of writing this piece? Or was anything difficult it all – maybe it all flowed out?</p>
Honestly, this poem flowed out! And the reason why I feel like I didn’t have any difficulties writing this piece is because this isn’t a new topic for me in my writing. One of my very first poems I performed was titled, “Footnotes For My Mother” and it essentially tackles the same concept of this piece but I was maybe 14-16 when I wrote it. I didn’t have the language nor the clarity that I have now which is why I wanted to revisit this conversation (poem) and rewrite it. Which is how “My Mother” came about.
<p class="text-style-muted text-size-medium">I was lucky enough to see you perform this piece live when you were in Kansas City this spring, and I’m guessing you’ve performed it a lot! What’s the most memorable response you’ve gotten from sharing this piece?</p>
To be honest, Kansas City was probably the second time I ever read this piece! However, the most memorable response I got was when I performed this poem at the Bowery Open Mic. This was the first time I read this poem out loud and after I was finished, this young lady walks up to me and says, “Girlll you just told my whole life story,” and that sentence right there stayed with me because that’s all I ever wanted to do – was share my story in hopes that it resonated with others in a way that affirms that they are not alone. Cause for so long I felt alone, and through poetry and storytelling I was able to find a community of people who saw me, all that I was, and embraced me anyways!
Support and Connect!
Support Fanta Ballo – her first collection of poems "For All The Things I Never Got To Say" is available for sale and all her links and socials are listed below. Go follow, support, connect!
Website • Instagram • YouTube • TikTok • Twitter/X
